Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
