Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize