I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
