thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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