i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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