Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize