i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
