Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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