well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize