I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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