she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I want a musical about memes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
