You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cockslap morals
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
