happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
