Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
