Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
