It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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