Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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