afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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