i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
