That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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