Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
