i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
