Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
