oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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