I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
