nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize