we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
