Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
