His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
