I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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