Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
