is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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