stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
