She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
