Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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