How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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