Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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