Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
