Buhtt sex?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
