your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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