everyone is single if you try hard enough
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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