I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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