she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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