I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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