This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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