I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
