one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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