There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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