Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
