Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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