She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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