It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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