Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
