I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
