Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
