A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
