i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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