you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
