Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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