Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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