I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
