Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
