just come out here and I will go home with you...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
