Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
