Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
