I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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