There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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