Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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